So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
