one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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