3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
