Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
