she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
