yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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