tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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