dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
