he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
