Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
