At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
