Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
