Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
