I'm eating all of the evidence.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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