We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
