Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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