i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
