you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
