Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
