I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
