Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Randomize
