First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
