you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
