You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize
