dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I need a burrito and a hug.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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