whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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