I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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