I wanna passion pit in your ass
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
