Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
whose ass print is on the piano?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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