just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My liver just had a heart attack.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
