Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
