idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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