Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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