She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
