Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
