I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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