when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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