I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
