the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Randomize