I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
3 2 1 whiskey
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
