idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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