I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
