What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
