Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
