I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
