i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
and she was petting her beer can
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize