this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
