my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
