I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
