I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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