I just saw a hot homeless man
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
