Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
