I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
