I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
