I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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