STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
