is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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