he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
