Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We need a shit load of segways right now
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
