Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
