Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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