You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
