You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
