kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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