Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
